who was marc lee?
Click on the photo above to see a biography of Marc Lee- provided by America's Mighty Warriors
Photo Credit: America's Mighty Warriors
When Marc said he was going to join the military, as a parent, what went through your mind?
I was actually very proud of him and the choice that he had made. My oldest son had joined the Marines, in August of 2000, and my son-in-law had joined the Army in October of 2000, and Marc joined the Navy in May of 2001. He was the last one of my kids who made the choice to join, and I was very proud of all of them that they were willing to step up to the plate and make that choice to defend our country.
Debbie and Marc Lee
Photo Credit: travisthemovie.com
Did Marc’s brothers have a big impact on him joining?
Marc was the youngest, so he was always very competitive aspect of him and wanting to be an overachiever. So it was definitely a part of it, but not all of the reason that he chose to join.
What was it like, in terms of difficulty, when Marc was in training or deployed for long periods of time?
My personality is that I’m not a worrier or a fretter. That’s just not who I am. There were times when he was doing his training where it was difficult to not be able to see him or pick up a phone and call, but I’m not one that has to talk to my kids everyday. So when he could check in, that was great to be able to talk to him. It was actually ten years ago this week when Marc came home just before he deployed. It was great to have him home for his birthday, which is March 20th, which is coming up this Sunday. I took him to a Spring training game for his birthday where the Kansas City Royals and Texas Rangers do their training. I had gone ahead of time to arrange for them on the marker board after the seventh inning to write: “Happy twenty-eighth birthday Marc, Have a safe deployment- love Mom.”
And I remember at the time, he was like “Oh gosh”. But after he died, his teammates said that when he came back after being home, he was saying “Do you know what my Mom did for me?!”
"I knew that when he pulled away from the house, when he was leaving to go to San Diego, that I wouldn’t see him again. It was just something inside of me."
I remember standing there on the lawn looking at him pull away, and my other son was standing there with me. And I said- “I don’t feel good about this.” And he said “Neither do I Mom.” He’s just like me, he’s not a worrier or a fretter. So I knew inside of me, and I don’t know if that was God trying to prepare me. I don’t know how you ever prepare for getting the news that your child has been killed in combat.
But even then, even though I had that feeling when he left, it wasn't like everyday that went by and a black car went down my street that I would think: “Is this the day?” We still just went on with life. I’m a believer, and I prayed more for Marc than anything I ever have in my life. During that time I didn’t freak out or say “Oh Marc, why did you do this? What are you doing?” We just went on with life and continued to do what we did everyday.
Photo Credit: America's Mighty Warriors
How much do you think your inner strength correlates to your faith?
The strength that you see is my faith. I have been a widow for twenty-two years. And there is a scripture verse that God promises to be a husband to the widow, and a Father to the Fatherless.” And I remember after my husband died, testing God, saying “What exactly does that mean?”
With my husband, we typically would have gotten into bed, talked about the day, what was going on, and what we think about this or that. So I was saying “Okay God, I don’t understand this. I know your spirit is here with me, but how do I do this?”
I didn’t know any other way, so I continued on talking to God just as I would have if my husband was here. And then the reality set in that there really is nobody here. And I was crying and I got up to read my daily reading in my Bible. My scheduled reading was in Second Kings, and Hezekiah had been sick for twenty years and he asked for twenty extra years of life. And God’s reply to him was, I’ve seen your tears, I’ve heard your prayers. I will answer.” And for me, in that moment I just said “Oh my gosh. That is what a husband would say in those circumstances.”
When you're crying he would say “Come here Honey, I see you're crying. We’re going to work this out. I heard what you told me”
And my faith continued to grow in bits and pieces, seeing God meet my needs, seeing him take care of me and my children in amazing ways. So when Marc died, I knew God’s character, and it hadn't changed. My circumstances had drastically changed, but he was the same God He was on August second that he was on August first.
God did not cause Marc’s death, it was evil in this world. God could have stopped his death, but he chose not to. And ten years later, I see the impact Marc’s life continues to have around the world. And not that I still didn’t have to go through grief, not that there wasn’t still pain.
I had friends visiting earlier, and we were talking about how ten years ago we were getting ready to go to a spring training game, and I got teary eyed. So there’s still those moments. Grief is a process that you have to go through. But I was confident in God and my faith.
In those ten years I’ve worked with other Gold Star Families who have lost a loved one in combat, and it’s very normal for them to turn to drugs or alcohol or suicide. It was the most intense pain that I’ve ever known, and if it wasn’t for my faith, and having confidence that I will see Marc again, that’s the strength that gets me through everyday.
I tell people that I had no choice the news that was given to me on August second, when Marc was killed and we were notified of that. I could have not answered the door, I could have plugged my ears and not listened, but that wouldn’t have changed anything. I had no choice. But I did have a choice how I responded. And to curl up in a ball and feel sorry for myself wouldn’t bring Marc back. Physically it would make me sick, no one would want to be around me, and that’s not how God wired me, so if I can be out there encouraging and helping others that’s a good day.
"Debbie's 2nd trip to Iraq June 2010 with Gen Hanson and Iraqi Gen Answer."
Photo Credit: America's Mighty Warriors
Marc’s Last Letter home
Click on the photo above to read Marc's last letter home in its entirety.
Photo Credit: America's Mighty Warriors
WHEN I SAW AMERICAN SNIPER, THE ONLY THING I KNEW ABOUT THE LETTER WAS THE FIRST PARAGRAPH, WHICH IS THE ONLY PART OF THE LETTER READ IN THE MOVIE.
They really did a disservice by just reading those first two lines, because it totally takes it out of context. It makes it sound like Marc didn’t believe in the mission, and that could not have been further from the truth.
If you get the chance, watch the documentary the history channel did on Marc called “Live to Tell” Because that was the real Marc. That was made because his teammates were so pissed at the way Marc was portrayed in American Sniper, and the way he was thrown under the bus. That wasn’t his personality, his character or his heroic actions.
The discussion that Taya and Chris’ character have in the truck after Marc’s funeral, where Chris says: “Marc didn’t die that day in Ramadi. He died when he wrote that letter. That was life leaving him,” never occurred and that’s not how Chris felt.
There are those who go into combat that get disgruntled and don’t believe in what they’re doing, but use a fictional person. Don’t use a real person who didn’t think that way and who didn’t believe that way. That was not the way Chris Kyle felt about that letter. That scene would not have happened had Chris still been alive. So his teammates reached out to the history channel to do that documentary on Marc, and they did an amazing job. They showed the real Marc there.
Debbie Lee and Chris Kyle
Photo Credit: America's Mighty Warriors
This letter has impacted millions of people around the world. What does that mean to you when you see how much impact your son is having, even after his death?
It’s huge. I can’t tell you in words how much that means to see that impact that he does have. God had a plan for Marc’s life. Marc is in a much better place. He is feeling no pain, no sorrow, no sickness, and he is in the presence of our Lord and Savior.
Marc’s life would not have had that impact if he had still been alive. He would have done double deployments and made a difference over there, and obviously he saved teammate’s lives when he made the choice to give his life that day. He was a great kid and he would have made a great husband and father.
But to have that impact, and to see the lives that are changed… I have had more than a handful of people write to me saying: “I was ready to blow my brains out, I had the tarp laid out in my garage, and I remembered Marc and I read his letter. I thought about what you were doing and how in the midst of losing your son you’re carrying on, and I couldn't end it when Marc gave his life for me to live.”
I don’t know if this happens on a daily basis, but it’s pretty regular that I get emails or a card in the mail that says “ I read your son’s story, and I’m doing this with my life, and I’m changing this, and I accepted his random acts of kindness and I brought someone a meal.”
I was a single Mom for most of their life, and it was a struggle raising my kids. I found out two weeks after a divorce that I was pregnant with him. I had people, even in the church that I was going to at the time, and it obviously wasn’t a very solid church, tell me to just get an abortion. I had a three year old, and an eighteen month old, I didn’t know how I was going to feed them, and now I was pregnant again. And to think how different this world would have been if I would have made that choice to take that life.
For the people who don’t know what is America’s Mighty Warriors, and what do you do?
In response to Marc’s amazing last letter home we started America’s Mighty Warriors., and we have four main programs that we do.
The first is the random acts of kindness.
We just had a veteran here in Arizona, and we found out he has been fighting cancer for eighteen months. He was undergoing radiation and had complications so now he’s back in the hospital and can’t work. He can’t talk because his throat is swollen and he couldn’t breathe- and they had to intubate him. His wife just had a baby three weeks ago and she is on unpaid maternity leave. And when we were made aware of this, we sent five thousand dollars to the family to help pay their mortgage payment so they could get back on their feet.
Photo Credit: America's Mighty Warriors
The second is advocacy and education,
so speaking in schools around the country, sharing Marc’s heroic story, and educating people as to what our troops and their families sacrifice. If there is an injustice against the troops, whether it’s from a corporation or the government, we step in to make it right. in 2008 Delta Airlines was charging our troops coming home from combat zones excess baggage fees for the gear they were bringing back. For some of these guys, especially if it’s their first deployment and they’re enlisted, that charge could be their food for the month. When I found out, I said “Are you kidding me?” I called Delta Airlines to confirm that what I heard was correct, and they told me that yes, that was their policy.
I said: “You do understand that these are our troops, that are not coming back from vacation, they’re bringing their gear back from defending you and your freedoms in combat. If you won’t change your policy and reinstate those funds back to the troops, I will be sending out an email to my following with your address and phone number, and encouraging others to call and express their disappointment with your choice.” Within forty-eight hours of me sending out an email, Delta decided to reverse their decision and refund the money to the troops. So we try to use our voice to make things right, because the troops cant.
Photo Credit: America's Mighty Warriors
Our third program called Helping Heroes Heal,
is where we pay for hyperbaric oxygen therapy treatment for our troops with TBI and PTS. We’re looking for other alternative therapies that are out there, whether it’s hormone therapy or supplements. Anything but the “Here’s a gallon of prescription drugs, go take all of these…” And they’re killing your liver, and your kidney, and two-thirds of them say “may cause suicidal tendencies”, and we wonder why the suicide rate is so high.
Part of the Helping Heroes Heal program is suicide prevention. Unfortunately my husband committed suicide twenty-two years ago, so I’ve had to walk through that. Robin Guzzo, who heads up that part of our program, her son was a Navy SEAL who took his life three years ago on Veteran’s day. So it’s very personal to us.
Our Gold Star Program to provide respite and resiliency,
which includes the retreats that we do down in Texas, The Heroes Hope Home, where they can come stay for free for a week. We do different events around the nation- like a dinner, tickets to a race, just ways to let them know that we’ll never forget their hero, or the sacrifices that their family has made. I think it’s very easy to be reminded when we see our wounded warriors, we see their missing limbs or their scars. We are reminded of the sacrifice that they made. If you were to pass me on the street you would have no idea the sacrifice or the price that our family has paid for the freedoms we enjoy everyday. We love our Gold Star families and we pamper them, and provide ways for them to meet other Gold Star Families to bond with.
The common thread with our Gold Star Families is that they just don’t want their loved one to be forgotten. We make sure they’re not forgotten.
America's Mighty Warriors Allaso Retreat
Photo Credit: America's Mighty Warriors
America’s Mighty Warriors helps many veterans and Gold Star Families. Are there any personal stories from the many people you have helped that have truly inspired you?
Three years ago we had another Mom of a Navy SEAL who died, and it had been ten years at that point, but she came to the retreat. She was very reluctant to come, it took a lot of personal phone calls on my part, and when she did get there, her arms were crossed in front of her, and you could tell she was wondering what this was all about. Afterwards, she has literally become a poster child for what we do. She has said “I had no idea. I’ve never met another Gold Star Mom, I knew there were others out there, but I had never met another mother who had lost a son. I had no idea I could do anything with my grief, and after coming here and seeing what you’re doing. You have changed my life. I have a reason to live again.”
She hosts an event each year, around the time of Tommy’s birthday, to celebrate who he was, what he did and how he lived his life. The proceeds of that go back to America’s Mighty Warriors to pay it forward to provide to other Gold Star Families what she experienced, This has been the third year in a row that she’s done it.
This year she moved it down to San Diego and she’s so excited. She said “Sometimes when you're stuck in that grief you just think that you’ll be sad for the rest of your life because your child is gone. And not that you don’t still miss them, but it’s missing them in healthy ways. Healthy ways to remember them and their lives, and remembering the gift that we had to be their Moms.
note on America's mighty Warriors financial reliability
I have been adamant that in the nine years that I have done this- I haven't taken a salary. Because I am that passionate about our troops, and also I’m so committed to making sure that we are a charity that people look at can trust. They can see that ninety-six percent of what you donate goes to the troops and their families.